Modest Dress Not Required.

Recently I was reading an article that referenced an Instagram post from the summer of 2017. The post was from Olympic Gold Medalist, Aly Raisman. In the post, that was deemed to be a body positive message, she stated that females do not have to dress modest to be respected. I would like to think that the heart of the message wasn’t that women should dress immodestly, but rather that women do not deserve disrespect, harassment, or other sexual advances or comments based on their attire.

With understanding the comment in that context, I completely agree with her statement; however, it did get me thinking.

As shorts get shorter, pants get tighter, and shirts become more and more low cut what exactly are we looking for as we dress ourselves.  Is it truly that these styles make us feel beautiful, confident, and empowered or do they draw attention and put us in a market of competition?

As we boost up the bust, hike up the skirt, and lift the dearie do we really like the image staring back at us in the mirror? Do we not care what others think or is it that we are trying to live up to a standard set by our world; a standard that we suffocate under but embrace all at the same time because we are confused and unconvinced of our own value and worth?

With these questions, I will admit that I struggle with my own motives and often live in a state of confusion.  As embarrassing as it is to admit, there has been more than once where I have checked to see how my bum fills out my jeans, or wondered if I would go unnoticed because my neckline is too high. (insert gasps and condemnation)

As a woman, I want to dress in a way that makes me feel attractive and beautiful, but what do I intend to attract. If I walk around readily exposing my body, I will attract attention that is only interested in my body. If I walk around readily exposing my mind, my caring nature, my interest in others, my insight, and my sense of humor, then I will attract attention that is truly interested in me.   

I choose the latter, but there are still some days I get swept into the sea of comparison and surrender to the suffocation of the world’s standard.

There’s my real … how about you?

Open Letter to Perry Noble that you should read

Dear Perry Noble,

I need to be honest. I didn't know much about you until a few days ago which, I know, is what makes me a perfect candidate to write you an "open letter". 

What I knew about you was your name and that you led a megachurch. I may have heard you on a podcast once but can't remember the content. I've never heard your sermons or even realized you were from Anderson, SC. 

Even with all I didn't know about you, the crazy thing is that I do know that your name has surfaced in conversations in which I have been a part. For some reason, the name, Perry Noble, left me with a sense of awe. In my mind, you were untouchable. Why? Well quite frankly, I don't know. Maybe because you had power and influence, or people took your advice, or that you were a leader of thousands. Whatever it was the name Perry Noble was on my radar, but the person of Perry Noble wasn't. 

Then on Saturday, February 4, 2017 I sat in the Elevation Ballantyne campus and listened as Pastor Steven introduced you. He spoke candidly about his friendship with you and your part in the growth of Elevation. 

From his admonition, it was apparent that you had made a huge impact in the life of Pastor Steven and had really been a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

The emotions within me were mixed, like a whirlwind in my mind. The less righteous part of me was giddy because I was in the room and within twenty feet of one I must have deemed as a “superstar”. 

The self righteous part of me questioned your success and wanted to discount you because I had not seen the same success and influence in my own life. 

The sane (but maybe still slightly self righteous) part of me was cautioning me to remember that you were merely a man surrendered to the work of the Holy Spirit. 

The selfish part of me was a little disappointed that Pastor Steven wasn't preaching because let's be honest sitting under his preaching can definitely be a selfish desire. Not to mention I had already titled my electronic sermon notes with “Work Your Window Week 4” and who wants to use the backspace button must less the select and cut features. How inconvenient!

As you entered the stage, I worked to resolve all the emotions swirling in my head. I sunk back in my seat and sulked for a moment. Then I turned my attention to your words. I'll admit that what you were saying was not what I was expecting. The more you talked, the more jacked up I realized that parts of your life had been. It was great for me because I could relate.  I don't just have jacked moments, I have jacked up days and years. 

On the other hand I was somewhat disappointed because I was forced to see you differently than my earlier preconceived notions had insisted.  To balance this new reality with my previous thoughts, I resolved that the Lord must have done a great work in your life.  I told myself you could no longer identify with that part of you, but it kept you humble. You were now free to have compassion for messed up people without still being in that state.

At this point, you had my ear, but not quite my heart. As you preached through Zechariah chapter three, many things resonated with me. My heart became engaged. Then you got to point number three, transformation. You spoke from Zechariah 3:3-5 and talked about how Joshua, the high priest, was dressed in filthy clothes. Then the angel of the Lord began to transform him where he was and clothe him in fine new liens while Zechariah watched. As Joshua was being transformed, Zechariah spoke up, got involved, and encouraged the transformation he was watching. Then you issued the challenge that I wasn't ready for. You said that when we watch people transform, we can either side with accusation, which was your first point from Zechariah 3:1, or choose to be involved in the transformation.

Now I love a good redemption story and typically wildly celebrate others; however, for personal reasons, that challenge hurt! In that moment I felt accused and attacked. So I did what any convicted person would do and moved you back into the position of an untouchable self righteous know it all who must be so far from experiencing pain that he has no compassion for those hurting at the hands of the one who could be being transformed. 

Your words once again began to fall on deaf ears as I took the next few moments and tried to reconcile my own pain.

Then right before closing the message, you dropped the major line that I had been ignorant too. Since I didn't "follow" you, I had no idea of the information that you were about to reveal. You went on to say, “Most of you know that back in July I lost my job for drinking too much, and I found myself in rehab.” 

I wasn't part of the most who knew that information.  It was shocking! Imagine the new whirlwind of emotions that began. The most prevalent was self righteousness which set the stage for a few candid thoughts that l’ll spare you. It was a counterfeit salve for my afflicted soul. The one that you had just wounded with your bold proclamation that as I see others transform, the others who have so deeply hurt me, I could choose to side with accusation or transformation. For a moment the self righteousness felt good but not really a healing good.  

Then, overwhelming relief came over me. I was relieved to know that you weren't perfect because it meant that just maybe I wasn't too broken for God to use either. If you could get up and face the pain and failure, perhaps there was hope that my circumstance wasn't too far gone either.

And about the time you shouted these words … “Get back up! Get back up! Get back up!” my heart reengaged. I have always felt like a fighter. It seems that my life has been a constant cycle of getting back up, but quite frankly in that moment I was sick of getting up and wanted to wallow in my defeat ...

But even today your words will not leave my mind. It's not that I haven't heard them before. It's just that this time I had to hear them from a fellow fighter; a broken person who is actually getting back up and knows what it takes to do so; one whose example goes far beyond just words. 

So maybe I'm not the perfect candidate to write you an "open letter". I am simply the broken girl who wants to publicly say thank you for getting back up in the midst of failure and discomfort and being vulnerable enough to preach that message. Thank you for not surrendering to the accusations of Satan, but instead believing that God is not done with you yet.

In my eyes, you are no longer the untouchable Perry Noble. Instead, I will forever see you as the one who challenged my stance and shepherded my soul when it was most vulnerable. 

And to repeat the words of a man who has become a great inspiration in my life, here is my daily encouragement to you: “Get back up. There is still time on the clock. The game is not over. God is not done with you yet.”

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but words …

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words …

May kill me!

Many children have been taught the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  Although a well-intentioned notation to help our youth develop “thick skin”, it is quite inaccurate.

Words actually have the power of life and death. What is spoken over an individual, good or bad, can sink deep into the heart and begin to play out in their life.  

This is especially alarming with middle school aged students who are already in the midst of hormonal and emotional changes that seem to cause a war within themselves. When you add the aspect of hateful words and bullying into the mix, the results can be tragic even to the point of death.

A little dramatic?

According to the CDC:

·         Suicide is the third leading cause of death among persons aged 10-14, the second among persons aged 15-34 years.

In addition to the CDC findings, my community has witnessed at least one youth suicide a year over the last several years. 

Please don’t ignore the facts. Don’t discount it as small, a passing fad, or middle school drama.

Instead, be a place of hope for them when they feel no one else is listening.

• ·         Speak life giving words to your kids and the youth in your life every day.
• ·         Teach them to value themselves and others.
• ·         Help them recognize that the cutting words of others are not a reflection on them but on the person who spoke the words.
• ·         Show them that a damage causing person is someone who has not yet realized their own value. This is not to say that you ignore poor behavior or act like those who harm others “deserve” sympathy. It is to free your child from feeling like the problem and puts the source of the issue back where it belongs.  
• ·         Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open and seek help when needed.  

Words can be deadly, but we have the power to give them life! 

My full heart and request for you to join me in doing a work that matters

My heart is full today because I was able to do what I love. It’s a program called cooltable. Through it I was able to go into a school, play games with a group of kids, and begin a conversation about three key traits we believe every student has: value, potential, and purpose. It was the kickoff of a twelve lesson journey with these students where they will learn how to navigate a few key areas of life while discovering their value, realizing their potential, and believing they have purpose.

This is something that I absolutely LOVE to do because I believe in the power of the next generation to be a catalyst for positive world change. I see a generation ready to rise up and take on the issues of their day; to be leaders that stand up and speak up, and who always find a way to unite in love in order to promote the betterment of their world and their fellow man.

Even with all the potential they have, I know that the next generation cannot become the leaders they were created to be without the support, encouragement, and leadership of the current generation. They need this generation to speak life to them, to believe in them, and to see potential in them that they can’t yet seem to see in themselves. This is why I am grateful to so many who have come along side of my husband and I to do just that, be the hope for the next generation.  

So yes my heart is full today, but I know that we are not even close to doing all the work there is to do. I know that the mission is greater than me, my family, and our current volunteers. To spread the message of value, potential, and purpose to the next generation it’s going to take A LOT of us working together.

So I’m wondering … would you like to join us in doing a work that matters? If so, contact cooltableministries@gmail.com.

I can’t wait to hear from you! 

Step out of the broken and into the restored.

That one, don't use her. She's damaged. Those are the thoughts that taunt me with regret and press me to fall into submission.

I mean what defense do I have. It's true. The damaged, broken, made a lot of wrong choices and carried a lot of shame girl is me.

     How could THAT girl possibly carry a message of hope?

     How could THAT girl possess anything of value?

     How could THAT girl move from shame to confidence?

Believe me, some days I sit sidelined trying to answer those very questions.

Then I remember that my story doesn't end with the taunting thoughts of worthlessness but rather the truth of who I am through the forgiveness and love of Jesus.

Don't you just love a good plot twist? I do because it means that my story no longer ends with brokenness. Instead, it goes a little like this:

That one. She may have been damaged, but she's not identified by her damage because she has been restored. So that one, use her. Because she knows what it's like to feel hopeless, use her to share a message of hope. Because she has looked for value in so many wrong places and knows it doesn't satisfy the soul, use her to point to things of real value. Because she has carried shame and then experienced the greatness of forgiveness, use her to show others the freedom forgiveness brings.

Now listen, don't think for one second that this starts and stops with me or that it is even all about me.

This is for you too. Maybe our shames and shortcomings are different, but the goal is the same. God wants to move you from the captivity of your past fears, failures, and regrets into a place where you can live confidently in His love.

Go ahead and find your plot twist. Step out of the broken and into the restored.

Identity Crisis

Whoa wait! Who am I again?

That's the question that often comes to mind when I am in the middle of day to day life. It's in the moments when no big accomplishments seem to be propelling me forward, and I am in the heat of the endurance race of life that I lose sight of my value and forget who I am.

I start striving. I start comparing. I start whining. I start wandering.

It's in this plateau of life that I seem to forget my purpose because growth slows and everything seems to be a grind.

Seriously, I start flailing around life in attempt to keep from drowning in the depths of the mundane.

My inner self begins this narrative: I need to be accomplished. I need to be popular. I need to start something new. Who can I serve? What can I start? When will the next big surge of life come and push me forward?

Then as all my value seeking efforts fail me, I realize that I am indeed in an identity crisis which leads me to the my initial question ‘who am I?’

Seeing that the question can't be filled with the external because it is ever changing sending me through success and failure, busy seasons and slow seasons, times of being surrounded with friends and times of being alone I have to to look to something more.

I have to look to the unchanging. To the Creator of my soul. To the One who tells me I am wonderfully and fearfully made. The One who tells me I am loved and redeemed. The One who tells me He has brought me into underserved grace so that I may share in His glory. The One who knew I wasn't enough but didn't let that stop Him from dying and being enough for me.

What I'm saying is that when I get tossed about on every thought and action leading me seeking my value and my worth, I have to look to Jesus because, for me, who I am rests in who He is in me.

So how about you? Do you go through seasons of life that try you and make you feel unimportant and small?

If so, perhaps focusing on the love the Creator has for you will help you regain your identity and allow you to rest in the slower less extravagant seasons of life.

Reclaim your identity this week and live every moment like it’s big!

When you don't have the answer

Have you ever felt that to acknowledge a problem that you first have to have the answers?

I know I have. When I don't understand, when I can't see the silver lining, when senselessness makes no sense in no way, I often ignore problems,  stay silent, or divert to things I feel like I understand.

The truth is I feel helpless in the face of doubt because I have often felt the pressure of making things right and believing that the world in general is good.

The  more vulnerable I have become,  the more I have realized that the world is full of problems that I don't understand. It is so easy to sweep it under the rug or even play the devil's advocate.

But today I want to say, I don't understand. I don't understand the police shootings and brutality. I have watched the videos, and I don't understand. I don't know what it is like to be in the black community. I don't know what it is like to be a police officer. I don't know what happens in the moments from life to death. I don't know. I am not going to pretend that I know. I don't.

All I know is that lives have been lost, pain and voids have been left for family members to deal with, and our communities are left more broken.

I don't have the answer, but I can surely see there is a problem. People are hurting, and I hurt for them.

I can't fix the problem,  but I will work to find out how to be a solution where I am and how I can.

What about you? Would you be vulernable this week and acknowledge even the things you don't understand and don't have the answers to?



Maybe this is what I am feeling ~ He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. - MLK JR (thanks to my sister Maria Morris for sharing this)

What's stopping you from accomplishing something great?

Have you ever desired to doing something so great that it scares you? Like you don't even want to speak it because surely someone will tell you that it'll never happen, it's impossible, or that you're plain crazy. Even still, you honestly have doubts about it yourself?

No? Good, me either. I totally like to set my eyes on the easily achievable tasks while playing the background in my own life. 

So maybe that's no entirely true; however it is what I revert to. Because even though I do have big dreams, sometimes I'm just scared. I'm afraid that no one will join me or find value in what I'm doing. I'm afraid that it just won't matter, or I just won't be good enough to achieve all that is in my heart to accomplish. 

I have even allowed those fears and insecurities to let me act small, settle for less, and to hide my abilities in places of comfort and complacency.  The only problem is that the approach hasn't worked. After every adjustment I make to try and be less than who I was created to be, I find that my true heart's desires are still there challenging me to be more and live on purpose.  Unfortunately, I haven't lived up to the challenge on many occasions.

How about you? Is there something that you are so purposed for yet you settle short of it?
  

I wonder, what is really stopping us? Sure there are valid life responsibilities, and we need not bail on those. I just wonder what keeps us from intentionally stepping closer to that thing that we've been reaching for in our hearts only not allowing our mouths to speak of its reality. 

Perhaps it's fear, insecurities, lack of focus, doubt or a combination of all of those and more. Or maybe it could be that we haven't seriously admitted our BIG dream(s) exists.

That's what I found. I had lied to myself to the point I believed that if in my entire life I only helped make the world better for one person, I'd be satisfied. You know what? That was a sugar coated feel good lie seasoned with false humility.

It was dishonoring to God because He created me for more, and it was disrespectful to myself because I sold myself short. 

The truth is that I want to be a catalyst for world change not just one person change. Just admitting that adds possibilities that I never saw before. Of course, there are still fears and insecurities that pelt my mind and soul with doubt and condemnation. Being honest about my true desire hasn't been some magical elixir that set the world right. It has, however, forced me to own my heart's desire which means I am now responsible for it.

That in itself has been a huge for me. It has pushed me to step forward in the discomfort and fear and doubt. It has called me to continue even when I think it isn't making a difference. It has significantly defined the decisions I make and the attitudes I embrace which have set me up for incremental progress that over time adds up to much larger gains. It has added life to what was once lying buried in my heart and soul. 

What about you?  Do you have BIG dream just lying in your heart? If so, why not take responsibility for the dream and give life to it by just admitting that it exist. That one simple step could set you on your path to fulfilling your purpose. 

No more living small when we know that we desire to be more. It's time to own those BIG dreams and fulfill our life's purpose.

Here's to the adventure ahead!

Orlando, evil, and the light.

As my heart aches for the victims in Orlando and grieves for the attacked world at large, I sit back and watch. I feel small and helpless. There are days that hope completely flees my body, and I find myself gripped in fear. I question the significance of my prayers and how I could ever make a difference in this world.

Then, I realize that those are the exact feelings that the enemy, those who do evil and cause terror, desire. When I give in to those feelings, I surrender my victory and admit defeat. My light burns more dimly and allows the world to grow a little darker.

If too many of us fall prey to this defeated mindset, then a multitude of lights grow dim and darkness spreads even more quickly; however, if we join together and spread love in deed and action, if we lift one another up when we are fallen, if we unite as one people and treat our fellow man as we, ourselves, would desire to be treated, then those lights that were threaten by darkness will begin to burn a little brighter and illuminate the world.

So it may be that in the face of evil, I feel small, but it's in the darkest of days, that I choose to be a light.

Prayers for Orlando and peace to my fellow man.

Don't stay under the stereotypes and labels of this world.

The quote pictured above sits on my 10 year old son's desk at home. He found it while doing a project for school and has left it there because he has a heart to fight injustice, and it inspires him.

Recently, I was reading the quote and it struck a cord in my heart as I realized that those words were needed because  people had been judged based on external features rather than internal qualities.  It aroused something so deep inside that it almost made me afraid of what I was feeling. I became angry and passionate and angry once more. In that moment, I wished that I could have stood on a mountain top and yelled to the whole world to "STOP IT!" (and that was the nice version)

But really we need to stop it! We need to stop labeling groups of people based on skin color, ethnic background, gender, and so on.

There is no group of people that are ALL the same. All women aren't, all men aren't, all African American people aren't, all Caucasian American people aren't, all Asian people aren't, all Hispanic people aren't, all baby boomers aren't, all millennials aren't, "fill in the blank".  (of course the list could could on)

In fact, the only thing that I can think that we ALL are is unique individuals who happen to be flawed in someway. And those flaws are NOT defined by some physical feature that we were birthed with.

Those flaws are defined in areas where we lack character, understanding, self control, and compassion. In areas where we choose to harm our fellow man in word or in deed. In areas where we choose to ignore people as individuals but rather live according to stereotypes. In areas where we choose not to rise above hate, but play right into its hand with division and labels.

I, for one, choose not to live under the labels of this world. I choose not to speak negatively of people groups as a whole.

I chose not to see you as the world may have labeled you. I choose instead to see you as an individual who has a story that I may not have yet.

I choose a brighter freer future for my children and their generation. I choose to be a part of the solution by helping the next generation build the type of character that will not only benefit them but their world as well.

Would you join me in removing all the stereotypical labels that are in your life? It doesn't matter if they are applied to you or others. Just remove them.

Now, let's take our flawed selves out into the world and show that we are also capable of love, forgiveness, and grace.

It's simple. Life is complicated.

I knew I needed to write this week but, I wanted it to be simple. In fact, the topic I had chosen to write about was simplicity.

And honestly, I love simplicity. I mean I really really do. I'll prove it:

I keep my pantries and closets lean and always purge old stuff before buying new stuff. Or maybe that's just because too much stuff freaks me out and makes me want to hyperventilate.

Okay, so what about this:

I prefer picture instructions, working on a smart phone, shopping online, and texting over talking on the phone. Or maybe that's because I have a lazy streak and am an introvert.

Let's go in this direction:

I like structure, lots of structure, unless I'm not feeling the structure. Then I want flexibility, lots of flexibility.

Oh and I like to give details, lots and lots of details, to build up to any point that I'm making unless I'm mad at you or am just feeling blah. Then I'd don't want to talk. I mean like nothing; no eye contact; no words; nothing.

And ... I like to talk things over, ponder deeply, and look at every single angle before moving forward unless it's eating chocolate. Then I just go for it; milk chocolate, dark chocolate, Belgium chocolate, chocolate chocolate .... ummm

Oh yeah, back to writing. Where was I? Yes, simplicity.

Those all sound pretty simple, right?

Okay, so I proved nothing to you except that I can be really complicated, but can't we all? Isn't life an ever changing, refining fire that we are continually adjusting to day by day, week by week, and year by year?

We are continually learning, growing, and adapting to who we are becoming. It's never ending.

Now, I could turn this all around and leave you with a sweet clique like: "Life is simple, all you need is love." Then send you about your day, but that's not true. Neither, life nor real love are simple. Both require work, and both require grace (two more non-simple things).

So maybe life isn't simple, but I have some good news for you. We are all in it together.

Since life is a collaboration, why don't we make it a group effort to show love and offer grace. Then when one of us messes it up (and we will), there will be another one of us awesome complicated people there to help.

Now, take your complicated self in the world and make it great!

Tension is the space between where I am and where you are, but how will we fill it?

In life there is tension, and it's inescapable.

It's the pull between the has been and will be, the known and the unknown, the right and the wrong; my reality and your reality.

This tension although wound tightly by our stances, is really an open space. It's a space that surely can divide us, but if handled correctly, I would like to suggest that it can also grow us; maybe in some ways even united us.

You see, this open space between where I am and where you are, gets to be filled by our choices. Now, we can pull away and go on believing that we have every answer and that every thought which comes to our mind is pure perfection. Don't act all modest now. I know that happens because, well, "me too." I've done it and still at times revert to continuing it. In doing so, we choose to fill our space with more tension.

There is another option, we can step forward and fill that space with conversation. Not just any conversation, but an intentional conversation that takes the time to see the value in others. A conversation sparked by love and a selfless agenda. One that begins and ends with respect. One that seeks out individuals whose reality isn't your reality and takes the time to listen to their stories without casting judgement.

And when we step forward, we find that the tension which once kept us apart has been transformed into a tether binding us together. (cheesy rhyme that just sort happened)

Let's wrap up with these two thoughts ...

First, maybe you are reading this and cheering me on becasue you think it is about time that someone sees you beyond whatever external barrier they have in which they stand and pass judgement on you. I understand. I've been there. Also, I apologize because I too have stood at that those external barriers and passed judgement on others. I hope today, you have been refreshed by knowing that there are people out there who are loving and will sit down to hear your story. Don't lose heart! Sometimes it takes us time to realize our fault.

Second, maybe you are reading this and are hanging in the balance of what you see as a moral or even faith dilemma. On one hand you want to love others, but on the other hand, you feel as though perhaps your loving others or  sitting down with those in which you disagree with is like acceptance of their wrong doings. I understand. It is a constant struggle I seem to face, but it has recently been combated with these thoughts that are guided by my faith: Love is my greatest obligation in carrying out my faith. Conversation and different perspectives shouldn't cause me fear or offense, but rather be a place of refining and solidifying my own beliefs while possibly gaining the opportunity to share the hope I have with others. ( If you'd like to learn more about where I have drawn my conclusion on these thoughts, you can find it here.)

So there you have it. Life is filled with tension. It's the space between where I am and where you are, but we get to choose how we fill that space.

Go and fill your space with goodness, growth, and understanding!

When you realize you can't change the world, but you can better yourself.

In a world that widely varies on it's values, beliefs, and lifestyles, how can we ever expect to be heard or find peace? 

It's a crazy question, I know! The impossible of impossibilities I will admit, but I like challenges so I started thinking about how we could accomplish this. Thanks to my spaghetti brain, that thought led to a list of "what ifs"

     What if instead of trying to at peace with the entire world, we started with our neighborhoods and communities?

     And if that is too much, what if we just started within our homes? 

     What if instead of trying to be heard, we first started listening?  

     What if instead of wanting someone to peaceable to us, we started being peaceable to them? 

     What if instead of waiting on the world to change, we became the change that we wanted to see?

So what would it look like if we began to take on the challenges posed in the above questions? Well, I tried (that's a loose term for thought deeply on it and failed often) it, and here is what I found:

Practicing these things hasn't led me to perfection and never will, but it has made me better more often. It's helped me be more compassionate, less insecure, and has led to more fulfillment and contentment which in turn has allowed me to focus on my fulfilling my own purpose. (That's a nice way of saying that I mind my own business more often which really is a move towards world peace!)

And although I'll admit that I'm a little bummed to realize that you and I aren't going to change the world in one big sweep, we can still make incremental changes to better ourselves. This will help us positively impact the few around us. If done by enough people in enough places, it could eventually lead to world domination - umm ... I mean world change. 

Now go and brighten your little piece of the world! 

Opinions don't make us hateful. It's how we express them that do.

I am just learning to adult and with that came a hard lesson. (When I say hard, I may mean that is had me curled up in a fetal position, sucking my thumb, and rocking back and forth for a few days; however, that's not very adult like, and there is no evidence so let's move on)  

Here's the lesson: Because I have an opinion about something, doesn't make it a fact. Because someone disagrees with my opinion or I disagree with their's, doesn't make them or me a hateful person. What makes us hateful is the words and actions that we choose to use to express our opinions.

I know the world is full of places where we can exercise our freedom of speech, debate openly, live differently, and wildly disagree; however in doing so, let it be path of learning, becoming better individuals, and even in some cases healing not one of destruction and hate.

I guess what I am saying is let's offer the same respect to others as we would want for ourselves. (Ahh... the pesky ole' golden rule strikes again!) We just might be surprised at what happens when we move from name calling, obscene gestures, and physical violence to meaningful discussion. Maybe we would find that when we listen, we may also be heard.

And since I know that you are going to take on the challenge, here's to a week of respecting others, awkward conversations, and knowing that you only have part of the story!

Now get out there and make a difference!

Fragmented at Heart: Broken People Made Whole - Part 5

We have reached the final part of this series. I truly hope that along the way you have discovered that your brokenness doesn’t disqualify you from being made whole. In fact, I hope you have seen how a beautiful mosaic can be made with those stained broken pieces of your life.

Along the journey we have talked about healing, forgiveness, power, and even how our own actions play a part in a better story. In all of that, I have pointed to God and wisdom from both life experiences and scripture. Then in part 4 of this series, I pointed out the fact that we needed to be responsible for our part of the story and trust God to fulfill His promises.

How and why do we trust God? Knowing the complexity of the question I left some with, I signed off to leave it for another day, and today is that day.

Brace yourself because I am about to answer the seemingly unanswerable: I don't know. That's right you have read this painfully long series to hear me say “I don't know.”

I can't give you a one size fits all answer. I can't step into your life and sculpt a personal relationship with the person of Jesus Christ, the Savior that God sent for you. I can't tell you your how and why, but I can tell you mine.

I acknowledged that I needed a Savior who was Jesus.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:20

Then I went on the journey of life with that acknowledgement. It has been ugly at times. I have gone my own way. I have been ignorant and arrogant, and I have been wise. I have been redirected and challenged. Through it all I can say I have never once been without anything I have truly needed. Yes, there has been temporary discomfort, but it's was to my benefit. It was in those times that I came out stronger and more equipped. So for me, trusting God has been more than a belief. It has been a life truth proven by experience.  

Trust is a process of personal experience. With what I’ve learned so far, I’d encourage you that wherever you are in the process to jump out and test the waters of God’s promises.

Read more in this series - 

Fragmented at Heart: Broken People Made Whole - Part 1

Fragmented at Heart: Broken People Made Whole - Part 2

Fragmented at Heart: Broken People Made Whole - Part 3

Fragmented at Heart: Broken People Made Whole - Part 4