I've realized that we're different, but I won't be defined by it.

It's tragic, yet it's obvious. Hatred and difference are the discussions of the day. Pain and injustice are prevalent. Opinions and passions are heightened. I want to speak up. I want to make a change, yet my voice feels so insignificant in the noise of it all.

I believe in fairness, justice, and equally; yet the reality is that we are different. I'm not speaking of the difference of skin color or those things that can be held with the human eye. We are so much more than our outward appearance. We are different in ways that when put into proper view make us extremely dependent upon one another. We are different in the strengths we possess and the weaknesses we carry. We are different in what motivates us and what hinders us. We are different in how we learn and how we communicate. We are different in our dreams and our desires. We are different in our stories and our defining experiences. We need different because without it we would posses the same strengths and unravel in the same weakness. We would be like a cluster of puzzle pieces cut into the same shape who are unable to connect to one another and make something more than themselves. Without different we would never experience the beauty of unlike pieces fitting together to make something amazing. 

But in our differences there is one thing we all have that is the same. This common thread is called choice. No matter how different we are, we all have a choice.

We can choose to be defined by our differences, the limitations, mindsets, and injustices that seem to separate us, or we can choose to be defined by love. A love that see how one's strength can unite and cover another's weakness. A love that can see how one's power can lift another's injustice. A love that acts in such a way that those who are chained by the mindsets of hate can become free. 

Will you choose to defined by love? 

Responsibility addict.

Responsibility addict. That's me! 

I’ve known it for a while yet just recently did I admit it. Of course it wasn't on purpose. I’m too responsible to admit I have a problem, you know. After all, if I’m struggling who is holding the world together? 

Arrogance you might say. Yet for me I know better. It's actually deep passion for justice and service to others. It's about noticing everyone and trying to fix everything. Making the world a better place. Shining a light. 

All good things just seasoned with unrealistic goals.

So as I stood in my office adding a little beauty to my bookcases, I crumbled. This simple task that would normally bring me great joy and relieve stress did the opposite. I was frustrated. It wasn't working. My mind was in a thousand different places. I stopped mid-stream and questioned aloud why I couldn’t quite my mind and let go of things beyond my control. I blurted out that I felt like an addict and needed the serenity prayer. 

Then the truth set in. I am an addict, and responsibility is my drug. 

If you’re thinking, me too! Then good because I'm not alone. Since  we both know we can't stay here, let's journey out together. 

How you ask? Well, I obviously I haven’t done it, or I'd be writing a different post.

I have read about. I have talked with others about it.  I have gotten feedback, both solicited and unsolicited, on my own struggle.

Here is what I have gathered: 

• We must set up boundaries. 

• We must be realistic about what we personally can be responsible for.

• We must allow ourselves incremental times to be refreshed and renewed. 

• We must learn how to use the word no.

• We must understand that the world does not rest on our shoulders. 

And personally for me, as I have made a choice to follow Christ in my life, I must understand that God has a plan and I must TRUST Him. 

What about you? Is there anything you’d add to the list? 

Can't We All Just Disagree!

Our society has forgotten how to disagree. Or thinking back through history maybe it's a trait we have yet to learn. 

Either way, it's destructive. 

I know what you must be thinking. 'Hold the bus! Everywhere I look someone is arguing with someone about something.'

You're right! Agreements, fights, and full on assault of character spawn all around us. This is because we skip the simple idea of just disagreeing and escalate the situation well before it's needed. 

Many times this is occurring over petty things that truly have no bearing on our life whatsoever. I realize this could be a confusing concept if you've never been on social media, never read through the comment section of online articles, or never heard someone give an opinion of the local weatherman.

So let's take it one by one to get a better understanding.

I'll start with a social media rant ... "to the jerk on the interstate that just cut me off". (This is a mild one. There are so many rants to pull from) Ever read or typed those words? Maybe his actions were less than stellar. Maybe he was distracted. We'll never know the reason, but name calling doesn't solve the issue. 

How about online comments! I will not type some of the words that I have read, but it doesn't take long to find someone attacking other person's character because their opinions differ. Seriously does what food another person chooses to put in his or her body or what exercise one chooses to do affect us so drastically that we have to resort to belittling? If we were truly concerned for an individual we would create an audience with them in order to share our own ideas that we feel may benefit them. Just in case it isn't clear, insults will close doors. 

Or how about news articles! There is a tragedy. Then down in the comment section there's nonsense written about the families or persons involved. This is so not needed. Of course we can have our opinions, but voicing them is not always helpful. If we aren't helping, then chances are we're hurting. Let's not do that! 

Oh and then the weatherman(or woman). We all have jokes. But really what authority do we think he or she has over the weather? Truth is sometimes we are just looking for a reason to complain. Let's stop that too.

So disagree with others. It's good for you and them. But please do it in a way that when the disagreement is done both parties are still standing and better than when they began.