It's advice that's easy to say and hard to do.

Change your perspective.

Those are three little words that roll off my tongue rather often, and more times than not they are directed to the youngest people in my home.  Then I follow it by saying “Remember, your perspective determines your reality.” (Podcasts cliche')

Yeah, I know. That’s “Mother of the Year” caliber right there. A few words, a little look, and bing-bang-boom the universe is put back in order. Except …. NOT!

Not long after reminding my little dears of their good fortune, lack of gratitude, and going over the script about orphaned and hungry kids around the world does my own need for a perspective shift come center stage.

Oh you know, it’s the important stuff that I get all worked up about. Things like an unmade bed or laundry being left in the washer. If it’s a really bad day, I get to complain about being interrupted 10,000 times before I can even sit down for my noon breakfast or a child who just doesn’t understand his or her school work for the day. If it’s a terrible horrible no good very day, there may be an unexpected bill that will still get paid, rush hour traffic when I just want to get the kids to soccer, a conflicted friendship, a late working husband, and PB& J for dinner.

Then in the moment when my anger wants to rise and the world seems all too unfair do I hear the gentle whisper of a loving father, “Change your perspective my child.”

Oh yeah, that little piece of advice. Right!

As true as it is that our focus more often than not becomes our reality. It is equally as true that changing perspective to see the positive is easy to say and hard to do, especially when it is our day that was negatively affected. Yet with practice it is possible. Not perfect, but possible.

There is scripture that has helped me know HOW to change my perspective and WHAT to see instead.  It’s like editing software for life. It allows me to re-frame the day and focus in on the good.

If needed, maybe you can glean something from it as well:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Changing my perspective doesn’t change the events of my day, but it does change how I choose to view them. And that makes a BIG difference. 

Do You Just Want To Be Enough? Then Read This.

For some time my strongest desire has been to "be enough".  Liked enough, loved enough, pretty enough, smart enough, wise enough, the most enough of enough and so on ... 

The more I have talked with people, the more I have realized that it is common. It's an unrest that lay deep in the soul and then acts out in the flesh.  It's a striving that only leads to emptiness.  The marker which identities "enough" is illusive, an ever changing finish line held captive by whomever or whatever we deem better than who we are or what we have. About the time it is in sight, its position changes sending its racer on yet another chase only to fall short once again. Pure exhaustion is what becomes of this madness, and it's an exhaustion I've known all too well. 

Caught up in the cycle of madness just described, I decided it was time for a power move. I knew just the one. I would march right to God and have a pity party in my honor, and that's just what I did. I expected to be soothed, understood, and in all honesty, even vindicated. Instead as I poured my heart out stating how hard I had been trying to "be enough" and how rejected and exhausted I was, I received the most awful understanding I could have ever imagined. It was so clear. I realized that I indeed was NOT ENOUGH. If I were enough, I wouldn't need a Savior, and I surely wouldn't be so broken and weary. Although this should've shattered my world, it didn't.  The peace and refreshing that came in that moment was tremendous. It meant that I could lay down all the striving and stop chasing the illusive finish line. This was actually wonderful news, but it wasn't long before my mind started wandering. 

     The thoughts that followed went something like this -

          WAIT! If I am not enough, then how will I ever be accepted? Acceptance is what this is really about. This is horrible!  Let's get back to the pity party because I'm doomed. 

     And then God answered - 

          You were never called to "BE ENOUGH". You were called to "BE LOVED". So practice being loved and you'll find that it fills every desire you were trying to accomplish in your striving and allows you to love others.  You find acceptance and power and can then be filled with everything that I have for you. 
  
Perhaps you are like me and need to lay down the desire of being enough and just practice the art of being loved.  Here is my prayer for you: 

          May you have power together with all the Lord’s holy people to understand Christ’s love. May you know how wide and long and high and deep it is. And may you know his love, even though it can’t be known completely. Then you will be filled with everything God has for you.

                                                                                                                        Ephesians 3:18-19NIRV

Boundaries and Birthday Cake

So here it is .. random and off topic and yet so perfectly formed together by this crazy thing God is doing in my soul. Boundaries and birthday cake.

Okay, so I know these are two different things, but for me they just collided. Why? Because I have never known healthy boundaries in life nor have I known a healthy stopping point with birthday cake. I'm what some would call a people pleaser. I prefer being referred to as one with a servant heart; however, the former is the most accurate. I know this because I listen to the critics and encouragers alike and change my path to best suit them. Even when I have found my groove, I can be derailed by the opinions of others.  It's a constant change of direction. My intentions are sincere yet I get nowhere. I end up crashed into exhaustion unable to identify the remains of what may be me.

Now comes the birthday cake, and believe me, this is ridiculously silly. I was at a point in my life where my eating and fitness was on point. I felt great about where I was and didn't mind the dietary restrictions I set for myself. Then something happened. People began to talk and suggest things about my character. I read negativity on the internet (gasp...imagine) that further backed up what I was already hearing. The idea that I was over the top and thought I was too good for cake really began wearing on me. The breaking point was when I read something from a fitness professional that suggested that if you won't have cake on your birthday then you have gone too far. Then it was followed by a post that stated something to the idea that someone that strict should be slapped. That isn't even the ridiculous part. My response was. I quietly started to let my guard down with my diet. I began having my birthday cake and everyone else's too.

"Ahhh ... that's better. No one thinks I should be slapped now," I'd whisper to myself. Wrong! People still probably desire to pop my face every now and then because I've unknowingly offended them. I've given too much or too little. I smiled too brightly or looked too focused. So I didn't find the magic formula to please everyone all the time, but I did realize that my desire to "fit in" and to please others left me with a body, mind, and soul that was highly offended. It also left me with a ton of hard work to regain control of my diet and renew my strength. The acceptance of others in such a silly area of life couldn't compare with the awesomeness I felt when I was on point with who I was and what worked for me.

With that, this is what I wish to leave with you: know your boundaries. Do not give someone else the power to identify where you start and stop. Only the One who created you can fully and perfectly reveal that.

And listen, I'm not saying cake is bad. It's just TOO GOOD for me to know when to stop. So if it works for you EAT CAKE. If it doesn't EAT CHOCOLATE!