When you don't have the answer

Have you ever felt that to acknowledge a problem that you first have to have the answers?

I know I have. When I don't understand, when I can't see the silver lining, when senselessness makes no sense in no way, I often ignore problems,  stay silent, or divert to things I feel like I understand.

The truth is I feel helpless in the face of doubt because I have often felt the pressure of making things right and believing that the world in general is good.

The  more vulnerable I have become,  the more I have realized that the world is full of problems that I don't understand. It is so easy to sweep it under the rug or even play the devil's advocate.

But today I want to say, I don't understand. I don't understand the police shootings and brutality. I have watched the videos, and I don't understand. I don't know what it is like to be in the black community. I don't know what it is like to be a police officer. I don't know what happens in the moments from life to death. I don't know. I am not going to pretend that I know. I don't.

All I know is that lives have been lost, pain and voids have been left for family members to deal with, and our communities are left more broken.

I don't have the answer, but I can surely see there is a problem. People are hurting, and I hurt for them.

I can't fix the problem,  but I will work to find out how to be a solution where I am and how I can.

What about you? Would you be vulernable this week and acknowledge even the things you don't understand and don't have the answers to?



Maybe this is what I am feeling ~ He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. - MLK JR (thanks to my sister Maria Morris for sharing this)

What's stopping you from accomplishing something great?

Have you ever desired to doing something so great that it scares you? Like you don't even want to speak it because surely someone will tell you that it'll never happen, it's impossible, or that you're plain crazy. Even still, you honestly have doubts about it yourself?

No? Good, me either. I totally like to set my eyes on the easily achievable tasks while playing the background in my own life. 

So maybe that's no entirely true; however it is what I revert to. Because even though I do have big dreams, sometimes I'm just scared. I'm afraid that no one will join me or find value in what I'm doing. I'm afraid that it just won't matter, or I just won't be good enough to achieve all that is in my heart to accomplish. 

I have even allowed those fears and insecurities to let me act small, settle for less, and to hide my abilities in places of comfort and complacency.  The only problem is that the approach hasn't worked. After every adjustment I make to try and be less than who I was created to be, I find that my true heart's desires are still there challenging me to be more and live on purpose.  Unfortunately, I haven't lived up to the challenge on many occasions.

How about you? Is there something that you are so purposed for yet you settle short of it?
  

I wonder, what is really stopping us? Sure there are valid life responsibilities, and we need not bail on those. I just wonder what keeps us from intentionally stepping closer to that thing that we've been reaching for in our hearts only not allowing our mouths to speak of its reality. 

Perhaps it's fear, insecurities, lack of focus, doubt or a combination of all of those and more. Or maybe it could be that we haven't seriously admitted our BIG dream(s) exists.

That's what I found. I had lied to myself to the point I believed that if in my entire life I only helped make the world better for one person, I'd be satisfied. You know what? That was a sugar coated feel good lie seasoned with false humility.

It was dishonoring to God because He created me for more, and it was disrespectful to myself because I sold myself short. 

The truth is that I want to be a catalyst for world change not just one person change. Just admitting that adds possibilities that I never saw before. Of course, there are still fears and insecurities that pelt my mind and soul with doubt and condemnation. Being honest about my true desire hasn't been some magical elixir that set the world right. It has, however, forced me to own my heart's desire which means I am now responsible for it.

That in itself has been a huge for me. It has pushed me to step forward in the discomfort and fear and doubt. It has called me to continue even when I think it isn't making a difference. It has significantly defined the decisions I make and the attitudes I embrace which have set me up for incremental progress that over time adds up to much larger gains. It has added life to what was once lying buried in my heart and soul. 

What about you?  Do you have BIG dream just lying in your heart? If so, why not take responsibility for the dream and give life to it by just admitting that it exist. That one simple step could set you on your path to fulfilling your purpose. 

No more living small when we know that we desire to be more. It's time to own those BIG dreams and fulfill our life's purpose.

Here's to the adventure ahead!

Orlando, evil, and the light.

As my heart aches for the victims in Orlando and grieves for the attacked world at large, I sit back and watch. I feel small and helpless. There are days that hope completely flees my body, and I find myself gripped in fear. I question the significance of my prayers and how I could ever make a difference in this world.

Then, I realize that those are the exact feelings that the enemy, those who do evil and cause terror, desire. When I give in to those feelings, I surrender my victory and admit defeat. My light burns more dimly and allows the world to grow a little darker.

If too many of us fall prey to this defeated mindset, then a multitude of lights grow dim and darkness spreads even more quickly; however, if we join together and spread love in deed and action, if we lift one another up when we are fallen, if we unite as one people and treat our fellow man as we, ourselves, would desire to be treated, then those lights that were threaten by darkness will begin to burn a little brighter and illuminate the world.

So it may be that in the face of evil, I feel small, but it's in the darkest of days, that I choose to be a light.

Prayers for Orlando and peace to my fellow man.