Friendship Ladder

Have you ever meet that person who will tell anyone the details of their life story trying to either make instant friends or run off the ones that would later hurt them? I am that person ... well a recovering form of that person.

I have always felt that if I do not empty every crevasse of my life and thoughts then I am being dishonest which is totally unacceptable to me. Give me a break! The heart was in the right place. It just lacked wisdom.

Recovery from unhealthy relationships has been a process, but there was a point where it started to go into overdrive and finally rooted deep into my understanding which is what I'd like to share with you.

While doing a study, I stumbled across the idea of intimacy in friendship.  And yes, although it was intentionally placed there by the writer, I still stumbled. This whole concept blindsided me yet brought so much understanding.

Here are just a few of the lines that grabbed me:

"Be careful with instant intimacy!"  "Revelation is God's way not exhibition."  "Authenticity with all, Transparency with most, Intimacy with some"

Can you image the weight of these words on a person who had sought instant friendship? It was like a slap in the face and a kiss on the cheek all at once. I hated the words because they stung, but as soon as the sting wore off, it was like a sweet healing! There was hope. I had just been following the wrong protocol.

Then the point was driven home with this wonderful illustration:

The lesson: Picture two people carrying the "relationship" up a ladder. In order for the relationship to stay balanced and not topple each person has to climb the ladder in sync in regards to both height and speed. The relationship can only go as far and fast as one is willing to progress. In conclusion, the truth was stated that some relationships are indeed only first and second step friendships. 

This teaching may be basic knowledge for you, but somewhere along the way I missed the lesson. I thought it was top rung or nothing.  I am sure I have raced to the top of the ladder and left people dangling for their life. Maybe I should climb back down the ladder and rescue them, but that discussion is for a later time.

If you needed this lesson, I pray that it would sink deeply into your spirit and bring freedom. That you would find time to slow down and take steps to build real friendships. That you would know that everyone does not get an all access pass and it's okay.  Above all don't be afraid of revelation. It really is a beautiful process.