Oh, the lessons we can learn from teaching our children! I have found that in an attempt to hand down all my wisdom, I often find myself learning. Have you experienced this?
Recently, the children were being treated unkindly and their things went missing after playing with some others in the neighborhood. I had spoken to the other children involved and even set some ground rules for my children. The rules set were not followed. My children chose to ignore the safe guards. They continued to surround themselves with people who disrespected them so they had to face the consequences. More items were taken and the responsibility was now on my children's shoulders. They had decided they were okay with the mistreatment and continued to put themselves in unhealthy surroundings without any boundaries. It was a painful lesson because they were hurting, but I knew it was a lesson they must grasp or future lessons could be even more disheartening.
After they realized that their actions allowed the latter consequences, I was able to share with them that we tell people how to treat us by what we allow. If we continue to surround ourselves with people that disrespect us and our belongings, what we are saying is that we don't mind being disrespected. And quite frankly we show that we don't respect ourselves either. The truth we should be showing others is that we all are valuable and must be handled with care.
I explained that we can not force someone to treat us a certain way. There are times that we will be wronged and will have no control over that particular instance. What we do have control over is our response. We should never respond with the same hurt that was put on us because regardless of the situation you always treat others how you would like to be treated. It is just another example of how your actions tell someone what you will and will not accept. Although the response does not have to be harsh or hurtful, it should be firm and filled with truth. Sometimes a conversation is all it takes to resolve a wrong. Other times the disrespectful behavior will not stop. At that point you can choose to remove yourself from that environment or group of individuals.
Then I shared this: Proverbs 18:24 There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend friend sticks closer than a brother.
Finishing the "lesson" my heart was pierced and mind pondered. You mean it is okay to remove yourself from hurtful surroundings and toxic people! I get to have boundaries and everyone doesn't get an all access pass. It turned into a very enlightening conversation for me. I can only pray that it will be one that sticks with my children.
What about you? Was this lesson for you or maybe you have experienced a lesson while teaching others?
I would love to hear from you!
Shante
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