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In a New Season of Life? This May Help.

(Pic via Pinterest)

Relational development isn't my strength, but I’m working on it.

Most commonly, I am a person driven by accomplishment.  I love to do lists and checking off tasks as I go. It empowers me. It excites me. It energizes me.  I am not afraid of hard work and most of the time choose the hands-on tasks. I don’t mind getting dirty or trying to figure out the best route.

Figuring out friendships is a challenge.  Although I don’t have an agenda to selfishly gain, I still feel the need to accomplish something tangible. Thoughts and desires such as: What can we team up and do together? What can we learn from each other?  How can I serve you and make a difference? Is my time being well spent? What value is this adding to my family?

The balance between measurable accomplishment and relational development has left me in an unfamiliar place.  The rules have changed. For the time being, it is isn't about charting my progress on a to do list.  It is about what is happening on a level that isn't as easily measured. It’s about personal growth and development. Changes that can’t always been seen in the moment and can’t always be shared with the world.  It’s nothing that I can boast about or display a metal of accomplishment for. It is a quite change that requires confidence and trust in something much higher than myself.

And for me that confidence and trust hasn't come easily. It has been a battle. I want to be in control. I want to plan the route and watch it lead me into the promise. I want to say because of my hard work and wisdom, I have an abundant life. I want to be found worthy of success.

Here’s the problem: I have been more wrapped up in how people view me rather than how God can be famous through me. I have been striving to prove my worth rather than being confident in Christ. I had decided that work profits more than obedience to God.  Basically it boils down to a heart issue. The issue is that I would rather have self-glory than giving God glory.

As I have shifted from the comforts of an accomplishment driven life to learning more about relational development, I have felt lost. Each day I show up and put in work. A different type of work. Methods that I don’t understand and don’t seem to payoff. Yet I try to be obedient to Lord. Sometimes grudgingly obedient, not completely trusting His way. And yet it has happened. God has poured out encouragement, support, and finances from the most unlikely places.  He has made sense of the senselessness. He has shown evidence that my help truly comes from the Him, and it is better than anything that I could create in and of myself. I am learning to trust His ways rather than the voices that tell me to keep striving because I am not enough.

The revelation isn't complete. There is still so much work to be done in me, but it’s not about me. This is why I am sharing. It’s about the glory of God. He should be lifted high.

If you are constantly striving trying to find purpose in and of yourself, it’s time to stop. Seek the Lord, He will guide you. He will be your refuge and strength. He is the creator and giver of the heart’s desires. Lift up your eyes and find your help!

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2

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